Feeling vulnerable is not a very nice emotion and often it rears its ugly head just when we you are trying to bring to life something that is truly important to you...
That's what's happening to me at the moment folks and it's super yuck! One minute I'm forging ahead, the next minute I'm wanting to retreat - does any of this sound familiar to you too? Part of me is so confident that it will work out but there's that nagging doubt all the same that tells me different and it just depends what sort of mood I'm in as to which voice I will listen to.
I do know that it's at these times that I need to stay as rested as possible and to look after myself with extra sensitivity but that's often easier said than done. For instance, last Monday I was so busy, busy with 100 tasks at a time, that I forgot about lunch until I was really hungry and instead of stopping earlier and making myself something healthy, I ate too many Bacon Rasher crisps (well I DID like them - it's put me off now, lol) and felt yuck after. Then I ended up getting a really bad tummy ache and had to lie down for a little while which in turn stressed me out more because of all the things I needed to be doing!!! Agh.
When you put so much of yourself out into the world it takes resilience, patience and a deep inner confidence or knowing to see it through. Then I get into the 'comparing' mindset of other business owners like myself and boy, does everything go down hill rapidly from there...
The other thing is that my 10 year old (soon to be 11) will be finishing his last year of primary school in July and heading to high school in September. It feels a really big deal and I have some stuff to work through with all that I think. That's for another day Friends.
Anyhoo, I was walking Mia this morning and thinking about all this stuff and suddenly found the empty eggs shells (that you see in a couple of these photos)...
It really struck me that sometimes you have to 'shake off your shell' and even though you feel as vulnerable as a newborn tiny chick, you still have to do it.
So, I've kept right on and put out my new art ecourse Delight and opened up enrollment for the second session of Embrace because I care so deeply about helping others find their creative calling in a way that feels right for them so as to capture the highs and lows of this crazy life. To make sense of what is on their heart, to grieve for the low points and celebrate the high points because life is a combination of all of that and so much more.
I could easily be the rabbit that freezes in the car's headlights (and sometimes I totally am that rabbit) but something keeps pushing me to carry on. Call it God (I do), my soul, Spirit or whatever but sometimes (well often), I feel like I'm carried on the back of this benevolent, loving force and I'm given the strength, courage and conviction to carry on when I think I can't go any further.
Yes - those little egg shells really resonated with me this morning - maybe seems a little silly now [blush] but it just made sense to me and I hope you? Feeling vulnerable is part of life and it's not a reason to stop - in fact it means you're on to something because it's your head's way of saying to tread carefully because there is so much at stake. Well, yes - I don't plan on stepping on any egg shells - I'll just tiptoe through them and notice their beauty at the same time.
If you're experiencing any of this as a small business owner, please share in the comments or drop me a email - I'd love to hear from you.
Oh, yes - I've re-started doing short podcasts that you can listen to via audio - kind of breaks things up for you if you are an auditory girl or just fancy the change of media (so to speak - ha, ha). Anyway, click here to listen. You can also 'follow' the posts, 'like' and comment - so please stop by and visit me.